Getting Here: Part One.

I believe it is extremely important that we share our experiences. If a friend of mine had not mentioned to me the struggles her friend was having getting pregnant, I may not be where I am today. Many women have a hard time getting pregnant and we all have varying degrees of that difficulty. I have wanted to share this story for a very long time and I'm really happy to finally have the opportunity.

This is my pregnancy story.

I'm not exactly sure when this story begins, but I'm pretty sure it goes back to somewhere around 2006. I remember back then I was definitely buying home pregnancy tests and was completely off all forms of birth control. I remember having several conversations with Mathew about starting a family and his reaction back then was typical: freaked out. I've always known in my heart & gut it would take us a while to get pregnant, so even then I was ready to start down that road.

2006 went by. 2007 went by. Nothing. I didn't have any reason to believe anything was wrong other than maybe I just simply couldn't get pregnant. That was definitely a possibility in my book and it sounded like such a simple answer. I did have an OBGyn in Atlanta ask me once if I had PCOS. I have battled hypothyroidism since I was 18 which also came with quite a bit of weight gain so these were definitely some red flags. She ordered an ultrasound back then that did show multiple cysts on my ovaries. So I thought maybe these issues were contributing to our lack of success.

I went through a small but serious bout of depression in the Fall of 2007 due to a bunch of contributing factors that all came together at once. I was very aware of my emotional state and I asked my doctor for help, but I never followed through with it. I didn't tell friends. I didn't tell anyone. In a way it was embarrassing. I've always kept my crap together, but my crap felt like it was unraveling at a pace I couldn't keep up with. During that time, I met a girl who was really in the thick of it and I quickly realized that wasn't the life I wanted to live - so I pulled myself together.

2008 rolled around and I started exercising regularly and in late March I realized my period was late and I was never late. 28 days. That was my cycle. A few days passed and I took a HPT. There was a faint hint of a positive line. Hmm. What the hell does that mean? I felt hopeful for a few days, but the day I called my PCP (because I didn't have an OBGyn out here in CO yet) I had an immediate loss of hope. I had been cramping the whole time and just didn't feel right. I had to wait over the weekend before I had my appointment and the next week I went in and had my blood drawn.

The next day my results were in, but I already knew. Because the same day my body did what it was naturally supposed to do. My doc called and said, I'm really sorry but your blood work is positive, however it's so low (a mere 18 on the hCG scale) that we think you are going to miscarry within the next two weeks and if you don't you need to call us and come back. Since I had already started bleeding, I told her and again she said she was so sorry. What a blow… even though I kind of knew in my heart. I had cramping for a total of three weeks and it was horrible. I couldn't work because sitting at my desk was miserable. I just wanted to lay down and do nothing. And under doctor's orders I was to take the next two months off from trying and get my body & cycle regular again. The mental healing was just as bad as the physical. And while I know it's common and I know this happens to many women and it's happened to several of my girlfriends, it's really strange and surreal when it happens to you. I felt like a failure in many ways and directionless. Where do you go from there?

Later that year, I was having lunch with a friend of mine, and we were talking about all this and what happened, etc. She mentioned that she had a friend who had a progesterone deficiency and she had to supplement what her body wasn't making. Interesting. I had never heard of it, so I started searching and reading what I could find and wiki explains it pretty well. Hmm, luteal phase. Mental note noted.

Since I had been tracking my cycles for pretty much… years, I knew most of the time when I was ovulating and when I looked back at my numbers it showed I was ovulating late in my cycle, like around day 19 even though I was still maintaining 28 day cycles. Which is not good. I should have been closer to day 14. Pardon my lack of a medical degree, but to me it meant that by the time my body wanted to ovulate I was on my way out of my cycle. Not a good combo because your body needs time to sustain a pregnancy. Yep, sounded like a luteal phase defect to me.

Getting Here: Part Two.

12 wks